Some updates on life, work has a bit less hectic with the GIRO system finally up and running. There are so many different types of ppl at work and i really thank God for the wisdom and firmness to handle difficult situations(difficult to imagine I know as I am usually such an un-serious person :P), as well as His protection over me..
Being someone who likes to observe since young, I realised that many a times, we are disappointed with the people around us because they do not respond according to what we want/wished they would. As such, we get very upset with them, wondering why they can't understand this and that (when it is so obvious to us - such as needs of woman/colleagues/parents/friends/any other situations), why they can't behave the way we want them to behave.
Of course, I am not saying that I am definitely right or I am better than the rest (I am just as imperfect and also have my own set of weakness to work on), but these are just some random thoughts.
It all boils down to this one problem. Level of expectation we placed on others.
As everyone of us has one brain, it is inevitable that conflicts occur. Even if you put the most "perfect" two people together, there is bound to be conflicts/clashes in terms of opinions. Either due to different way of up bringing/different type of habits/ideas/convictions and this list is non exhaustive.
One thing we have to try to understand is that everybody is entitled to their own opinions/beliefs. What right do we have to judge them, even if you really dislike what he/she is doing/detest the person/look down on them.
By judging the person, do you think that you are actually better/more perfect as a person? Is there no flaws and weaknesses in your own life?
I believe many of us have our own set of flaws too. Me, for one, knows without doubt that I am imperfect. In fact, i feel that i am the most imperfect person ever, without much intelligence in the area of academics, concepts or theories, general knowledge.
People who are much smarter will definitely feel that I am someone who is simplistic/not much of a brain. They have directly told me that I was "brainless", "foolish", "simpleton", "worse piece of shit in life" countless times earlier in my life. (I know this may seem hard to swallow because how can it be? when I am smiling most all the time.)
Does it hurt? of course it does! Even so when I am a person whose primary love language is words of affection, with not much of visible talents to begin with.
But what can I do? Hate all of them? Whine and complain about them, and fill myself with resentment and hatred? (this is extremely unhealthy as cooped up unforgiveness will just lead to trouble and pain of our own soul) I recognised humbly that well, maybe they are right, and try to improve myself each day, bit by bit, knowing that as long as I keep trying my best, and not give up, I will always have a chance.
In fact, I am still learning everyday, trying to make sense of why people behave the way they do. (through recognised personality test/evaluation of the test/why male and female behaves different/how i can be more aware of my weakness and improve it/etc etc)
These are the areas I am extremely interested in, and i realised that when i have a better understanding of the other person's "point of view"/"style"/"character", and of myself (analysing why i react the way i do, why a certain type of actions caused me to react so angrily, how i can better handle conflict, how i can be less harsh and a better communicator) i would be able to empathise and all these will eventually make me a better person! :)
Ok so what's my point? My point is that nobody is the same as you. Nobody will think and behave in the EXACT manner as you imagined and hope in your mind. Nobody owes you a living. Nobody owes you happiness. We got to make a CHOICE to be happy.(through whatever ways you like)
I will always remember what my pastor said, when bad things happen to us, we should blame no one/no situations/genes/whatever, but yourself, and try to think of ways to improve it. It's in him that i see one of the most humble, broken down person, a person who treat every soul with respect and love. (even when people hate him to the core, curse his family, ridicule him, wrote such nasty comments about him, do everything they can to discredit what he has done for the Lord, He still stands firm in his faith, believing that God wants all of us (try! though difficult) to love everybody, even if they are different from you. :D
For those who are married, please do treasure your husband. (even if they get onto your nerves all the time) They might always go into "zone off" or "cave" moments/not be able to "auto" do what we want/wish, but come on, everyone has some good in them! It's just a different set of style we need to get used to (which is difficult i know, because my boyfriend happens to be a man. :P so yes, i am still reading up on why and how to be a more supportive partner.) Isn't it already a blessing that someone loves you for who you are, to the extent he marries you? (and is still faithful as of now.) We need to be better partners too! to learn how to bring out the best in him.
Human are so complex, different and interesting. i am still learning as of now! :)
Haha. Alright, time to go rest after eating the medicine that has side effects of hands trembling and heartbeating so fast.
God bless me to be healed soon!! Be strong and goodnights everyone! :D
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