The JoyFoo Life!~

Day 30:29 Jul 2023 – Today is Day 2 of the injections. I thought it will feel easier, but it is just as hard when I see the needles. I still feel scared but am thankful that it is one jab a day, and not two. I feel greatly consoled that hubby is helping me to do the jab. Pray that the eggs will grow well, so that the remaining jabs after seeing the doctor on 2 Aug 23, will also be one jab a day.

Trying to be cheerful through it all, as the doctor says that stress will not do any good for the eggs.

I remember a doctor appointment in Nov’22 last year, where the doctor told us – if we are stress, don’t do the IVF, because the eggs/sperms will not respond as well as it should.

Which was partly the reason why we postponed the IVF Treatment from Mar’23 till Jun’23. Mar’23 was too much stress/ heavy workload for the both of us, with many deadlines to meet.

Though this means that the waiting period was very long and it did caused a lot of stress on my end, because it was a mental load to carry around.

But finally, we are embarking on this journey, trusting our faithful God for the outcome! He knows what is the best for us, so we are learning to trust Him and His best plans!

Thank you family and friends for messaging me and keeping us in prayers. I am really touched and love you all! Will hang in there!

Day 29:28 Jul 2023 – Today is the first night of my IVF injection. After checking in with myself, I am still too scared to take the injections by myself. First, I have shaky hands, and it was at this moment that I thank God, for my hubby who was a Medic, and could do it for me.

He had experiences with needles (poking himself and others), so he was not afraid.

Edited my first video - after the jab to distract myself and made another video with some reflections on the IVF procedure.

I am learning a new skill: editing videos - through this adversity! And this somehow makes me happy. =)

For me, blogging and making videos, help to release a lot of the pent-up stress. Journaling down the whole journey, motivates me that I am not in this alone.

Who knows, it might even help someone who is facing the same difficult situation or other problems, to not give up, and put a smile on their face with my silly nature. (For those who knows me, I like to be a clown and making people laugh is my hobby.)

Trying for a child is a lonely journey that not many will understand. (Just like all problems). Only the person going through the problem, will feel the sorrow/stress the most!

The numerous months of seeing your period come, after it being late for 10-15 days, being hopeful yet disappointed months after months can be unbearable. And many times, period is late because of the body stress, not because of pregnant! *emo and burst out crying*

However, I tried to tell myself that having period, means that there is still a chance of getting pregnant, one day!

So whoever is going through this journey, don’t give up ok.

Shalll post the jabbing videos on our retired youtube channel in future, when we are more ready. Thank you friends for all the love and messages to encourage us, we will jiayou too!

P.S: My Hong Kong friend came to our house to visit and she prayed for us. Thank you MX! ❤

Day 28:27 Jul 2023 – Today, we went for a doctor appointment at 8+am in the morning. They did a blood test, a scan, and taught us how to use the injection kits. As it was the first time we need to learn how to use the injection kits, we took a while to get what the nurse was saying. She patiently guided us, and let me demo for her once, to be sure that we could manage the injections on our own.

I was told to inject my tummy for the next 5 days, with a dose of 225 IU/0.75ml. We were given this medicine called “Follitropin Alfa”. After the next five days, I am to go for another scan on 2 Aug 23.

The scan during today’s appointment showed that there were 5 follicles after I ate the 7days medicine! Thank God. I was so worried because I went to research beforehand, and google said that it was best to have more than 4 follicles at the first scan after taking the medicines. I was afraid that I couldn’t hit the minimum number.

For this IVF, the best results are not too little eggs, and also not too many eggs. Too many eggs produced may lead to Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS), and the whole IVF would need to stop for a month, for the body to recover.

My advisor colleague N, asked me not to do anymore research, as it might stress me out. She advised me to just relax and take it one step at a time. Whatever come, comes.

I realized today that I am really an overthinker. I tend to think way into things that have not even happen yet, so that I can prepare enough to avoid any bad consequences, but this kind of living tends to cause me unnecessary worry and not able to live in the present. And the funny thing is - 95% of the time, the fears I have doesn’t even happen! LOL.

Which is why I admired N, for her cool, just do it attitude. She lives in the moment happily and doesn’t over think so much. I am trying to learn from her this trait, to become a more carefree person too!

Next few days will be the injections days, praying that I will be able to overcome it!

P.S: My period came early today!

Day 27: 26 Jul 2023 - The past three days were tough.. Due to changes in the body - have a big ulcer on the roof of mouth, spotting, headache, itchyness.. became emotional and sad!

It was as if a dark cloud was upon me and I just can’t help feeling moody most of the time.

Even my work colleague noticed it! She messaged me that to be honest, she is not used to her ‘happy go lucky’ senior being so moody and sad.

Haha.. oops. Today, she surprised me with a cute bouquet of soft toy flowers!

Along with a meet up with an ex colleague, and encouragement from N, I feel slightly better now!

Will be seeing the doctor tomorrow. Today, a nurse called me up, and up till today, I actually don’t really know what to expect for tomorrow’s appointment.

She told me that I will be doing scans tomorrow.. and be taught how to administer the injections, and take some blood test.

Another interesting point that I learnt today: My menses is suppose to come soon, but the number of eggs inside the body will be different as per usual cycle. That's why I have been experiencing spotting!

Oh! Is that why the past week of eating medicine for 7 days, is called a ‘stimulation’?!

Ooooo I think I just had a revelation.

Was wondering what it means by stimulation.

So the menses will come as per normal, and after that, will be the real and actual process. *lightning flashes across the dark sky*

Haha.

Along with feeling extremely tired all the time, I am ready for tomorrow’s session and ever ready to sleep now.(10pm)

Praying for good results tmr, with good number of follicles in me! ❤️

Thank you pastors, friends and family for keeping us in prayers! 🙏 (we need it!)

Wondering if I should do a vlog and record down the upcoming injections daily since it is so Xin ku.. can look back in future :’)

Update again. Take care everyone!

Today, on 17 July, we went to sign the IVF consent form, and take blood to test for HIV. I started on my 7 days medication!

The nurse patiently explained to us a long list of things to take note and we signed on a few forms.

Found many of the things interesting, shall note down for information:

1) The cost for egg storage is $800/year which we will be freezing (please pray for many good eggs, which response well - not overly too many but just nice quantity)

2) 75% of the cost is subsidized by government if both are Singaporeans.

3) After which, can use our Medisave of up to $6000 for the IVF Treatment. The remainder will be paid by cash.

4) Sedation is done during extraction of eggs

5) I requested for sedation for insertion of eggs. This was not common or allowed as normally; the insertion of eggs does not require sedation. I requested (and pleaded) as I was previously traumatized by my IUI Treatment done in another clinic. If you require more bloody information, you can text me to ask what happened. I will be open to share. =(

Thankfully, they agreed and this lift off a huge stress from me, knowing that I will be asleep when the procedure is done. TYJ! I am really so relieved!

6) We got to decide whether to dispose or donate the eggs for research if something happens to one of us. We both agreed to donate.

7) We must decide whether we want to put one or two eggs inside. She explained the risk of putting more than one egg. and the cute hubby asked whether can put 3 eggs in. LOL. We both chose a number, and she says that if we want to change, both of us must countersign to change the number of eggs to put in.

Taking the medicine has some weird sensation in my tummy, and I seemed more tired than usual, even though I try to sleep earlier.

Shall go rest soon as feeling sleepy, update again! Thanks for reading and following our journey!

16 Jul 23 - It has been 17 days since Day 1 period. How have I been doing? I am focusing on having enough rest, not to go to crowded places, and managing the stress from work. Started my hobby of reading, and trying to learn one new language, with the free time I have!

Good news! At work, we managed to close our accounts last Friday! *Hi-five with Dawn* Also managed to present our innovation to the School Leaders, and got their approval to roll out the idea, after some modification which we are busy working on now. :)

Day 18 tomorrow - and I will be starting my medicines.

I will have to eat the medicine, Norethisterone, 2 times a day, 1 tablet each, for 7 days!

Praying that there won’t be any complications for this whole IVF process, and it will go through smoothly.

Spending more time alone gave me a lot of time to pray and ponder on things.

On some days, I wake up treasuring the gift of life with the bad dreams I had.

On other days, I wonder why it is so tough for me to do something that is so natural for others.

Either way, I try to heed the advice of my wise friend N and younger sister, and that is - to not overthink things, but to stay positive so that my eggs will respond. N told me that, nobody can help me in this journey, I myself must go through it, and try to cheer up through it.

Thankfully I have God! So I know that is one person (and the most important one!) who will be with me through It all.

Know that many of our family and friends are keeping us in prayers too - thank you to all that are praying for us! We miss you, and we will be back in action, stronger and better!

Was praying and made the decision to sign up for Associate of Arts Degree in Theology. This will be a one year course, and is an extension of the 7months SOT course which I signed up in 2019.

Shall put Him first and study more about Him, be serious in His word, even if I tend to have trouble understanding or remembering things. *forgetful memory hee*

Let's jiayou together ok! Don't give up, the best is yet to be :)

Today, on 3 Jul 2023 (Day 4 of menses), I received a call from NUH nurse. She informed me about the schedule, and finally, I can have some sort of certainty in life.

Waiting for Day 1 of the menses, and not knowing the fixed dates of the treatment was not easy, for an ESFJ like me.

Personality of a “J” (last letter of the MBTI personality type), is one who needs a plan/schedule. We have back-up plans for our plans, and things need to be well thought out, before it happens. Sometimes, we worry too much about things that might not even happen.

Unlike our complement personality, the “P”, who is free-spirited, spontaneous, where last minute plans/changes energized them, “J” feels a certain level of stress when there are last minute stresses, or when there is an open-ended to their plans.

I have often joked with hubby, how to 'J' personality type, deadlines have to be met, otherwise we will be 'dead'. However, to the 'P' personality type, deadlines are not life threatening. Even if you miss it due to valid reasons, it's ok, as there are alternative plans to meet it!

For more information about which personality type you are, you can try the very spot-on Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test below:

https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

Ok I got distracted. Back to the procedure haha.

Thanks to my colleague cum mentor at work, N told me in Feb’23, to start taking care of myself. She advised me not to wait till June, but to start regulating my mood, stay happy, relaxed, eat well, so that my cycles will be more regular, and I can somehow predict when Day 1 of the cycle will happen in June. (My cycles were very irregular due to stresses at work)

And she was so right!

Thanks to her valuable advice, I started exercising, doing things that makes me happy since Feb’23, and Day 1 happened close to the planned date: 30 Jun 2023!

The nurse proceeded to give me some dates to follow, and also asked me to go to NUH Pharmacy to collect 7 days of medicine, to start the medicine from 17 Jul 2023.

Thanks to a 1hour off from work for Youth Day, I was able to rush down to NUH and collect my 7 days of medicine. Yay! One thing off my checklist. I am a happy “J”! To do list item- checked!

Next, we have to go down to NUH, to sign the IVF Consent form, and bring along our marriage cert.

Hubby is extremely busy with work at the moment, so he might not be able to make it on the date given by the nurse.

In the past, I would have been upset due to my inflexible nature. Over the years of marriage, we have since learnt to complement one another (There is no best personality, each personality has its own set of strengths and weaknesses! so it helps to learn from one another and be a more well-balanced individual.)

So I shall relax, calm down, and wait for him to be free, before getting his available dates, to arrange with the doc to sign the consent form! *deep breaths* ;)

The nurse then informed me to start the injection on 28 July 2023 for 12-14 days. And there is an appointment with the doctor on 27 July 2023! Extraction of eggs will be somewhere in mid-Aug’23!

This came as a surprise as I thought the whole IVF treatment must finish in one month, since one cycle usually last a month. Checked with the nurses and they told me that due to the medicine and injections, my menses won’t be coming. So this whole IVF cycle will last for 2 months from Day 1! >.<

Praying hard for His grace, and for me/us to have the mental strength to go through these two months well. Do keep us in prayers, we need it! ><

However, this was not the only surprise.

The nurse then told us that if we were to catch COVID in any part of the IVF Treatment (1.5month-2months), the treatment would have to be cancelled, and we would have to bear the full cost.

I was so shocked when I heard this! Guess we need to be wise, make effort to protect ourselves, wear mask, don’t go to crowded places, from now to early Sept23!

Praying that we can go through this already-mentally taxing process, smoothly!

It’s no wonder that there is a certain level of helplessness going through this, and this process could be a long, lonely and emotional one.

Not only is there the emotional portion, but there is also a lot of uncertainty. Financially, it cost a lot too. There is so much invested in many layers, and we haven’t talk about the outcome yet! With COVID around now, it makes it more complex and there is unrest.

Thankfully, in this turbulent situation and turmoil, there is one certainty, which keeps me sane - and that is - having God with me.

Over the years, I saw and experienced the goodness of God - how He has protected me, closed doors that I wanted badly, guide me, etc. Even if I can’t see His hand, I know His heart. He is a good Father, and He always wants the best for us, and He loves us deeply. Sometimes, things happen, and it might not be what we think is the best, but He knows exactly what we need.

I am going to trust Him, by faith, and go through this journey well, believing His good plans for me.

Thank you for all your continuous prayers for us! Appreciate your love and support!

Shall document all the dates down, in case someone is going through this same journey too. You are not alone! Let's jiayou together! ❤

Hello friends, we are back! It has been five years..If you are still subscribers of this blog, thank you so much for not giving up!

These few years flew by with a blink of an eye..a summary of what happened:

1. We are still staying together amicably with our in laws (Praise the Lord)

2. During covid period, we had an opportunity to purchase a property with our savings. Initially, we were saving up for a baby, but he/she has not come yet after 6 years! (Where are you baby? Please come to us soon! =’)

It was a spur of the moment, and everything was done in less than a month. We brought our mothers to visit a few units, and all thought that one particular unit stood out the most.

This was a blessing in disguise.

Having to stay together with my in laws (permanently), because the hubby’s name is in the house, was something we were left with no choice at the start of our marriage.

Like any newly wed, I will not be honest if I were to say that I didn’t wanted a house of our own. Many times, I struggled with not having the privacy we needed, of owning our own home.

However, God is good. Because He knew what we needed, even before we know it ourselves.

Well meaning friends has talked to me about how important it is to put my name in the house, for practical reasons. However, being a simplistic and somehow naïve person, I didn’t think that was important, because the most important thing to me was: good relationships with my husband and in laws.

Thought process: If I am married, why think about all those negatives? Even without a name in the house, I would still stay together with hubby in the house if our relationship is good. God placed a simple faith in my heart, to trust Him, and not worry about things/situations we can’t control.

So when the opportunity came to get a house (out of a random conversation with mother in law) - low and behold, my name was free to be used! One agent told us that this arrangement was possible to married couples, but are extremely rare because of two reasons.

1.The hubby does not have enough CPF to pay for one house
2.Wife will never agree to not have their name in the house in the first place, out of security reasons

I am so thankful that because of being simple and “sha sha” (Silly nature), we managed to lalala and get a house under my name! WOWW I thought that owning a house would not be possible anymore, but a miracle happened. Indeed, thank God for His plans for us – His plans are not to harm us, but is good. What was a sad situation turned out to be a blessing in disguise!

Furthermore, I am grateful to my fil who cooks for us, and my mil for being my spiritual mentor to guide me through challenges in life. Who knew this was His plan!

His ways are higher than our ways! We may not understand when bad things happened to us, but He knows it best, because He is our good Abba Father!

3. We tried IUI for two times but were not successful. For those who don’t know what’s that, IUI is a procedure for couples who want to try for children, but not successful yet. It is a milder form of IVF (Still tramautising to me though!), has a lower chance than IVF.
4. My dad passed on in Jun 2020, but he is happily in heaven now, with no pain and suffering. I missed him dearly.
5. Work is still challenging to us, but we are trying to improve and get better
6. Caught covid
7. Went black pink concert
8. Watch too much Netflix
9. Make a decision to lose weight each year but have not succeeded, yet! (I still believe we will one day, haha)
10. We are going to try for IVF in end Jun’23

Thought of restarting this blog, so that we can journey down the IVF process.

Life cannot always be smooth sailing. It has to have challenges, and this is one of ours, and we felt that by documenting the whole journey, hopefully we can encourage others with similar situations like us.