Saturday, August 31, 2013

What city harvest church means to me

August 31, 2013 0 Comments
With the whole court case saga surrounding this mega-church, I am sure many of you have lots of your own opinions on the church. Some of you might even once be members of this family, but have since left due to valid reasons, conflict of ideas, or just didn't like the spirit of 'giving' that the church seems to advocate.

Well, since this is my blog, I suppose I am free to write..what CHC has done for me, without having to worry about how it is going to offend anyone. Afterall, it's just my version of the story, and no one needs to agree with me. In fact, you can continue to think that all CHC supporters are silly, have too much money to spare, or are brainwashed. But maybe, before you judge us harshly, you could be open-minded enough, to hear another side of the story, of just 1 of the many, that has been impacted by the love of the church.

7 years ago, I came to this church with my friend..It was Easter day, and the first time I attended a church. I wasn't expecting anything to change, although deep inside, I wished everything in my life could change. Although I looked so happy all the time, being the clown..making all my friends laugh..i felt unwanted, uncherished and inadequate. I didn't know how to share my problems with others..and nobody seems to be interested in my personal life. Maybe it's because people just assumed that everything was going very well, or I was just a lucky girl who didn't have much problems.

But all was just a façade. Who doesn't have problems? Just to name a few, we had serious financial difficulties, my 3 siblings are confident, talented and smart(IQ and EQ), it really didn't make things any better that I have really, not much visible talents to being with.

And so, I surprised myself when I went forward during the altar call crying,(which is super rare as I hated being seen weak so usually it's just me and my fluffy pillows) and made the decision, to give my life to God. Anyway, I really don't have much to lose, since my self esteem was at 0% anyway. Can't get anymore worse can it?

The journey then begins. Slowly, I began to open up..my cell grp leaders and members were genuinely concerned about me and we had a lot of fun together. I met my first bestest friend, Shi Hui, someone whom I can finally, share my problems with, in church. Suddenly, it was as if I had a 2nd family. One that meant so much to me without them knowing, one that is supportive, where the older members (1-3years older) are always ready to bless us with food, knowing that we couldn't afford it. And no, they are not well to do people. In fact, those that blessed us are struggling with their own financial worries..having many siblings at home, having commitments like their own poly fees, etc.

I started to realise some similar characteristics from them. The strong faith in God that He will provide us more than enough in future, the love for people, the generous and servant heart. and that, is the DNA of the church.

Pastors preached weekly about how important it is, to be filial to our parents. How important it is, for husbands to treat the wives well, and wife, to give respect and admiration to your spouse. How important it is to excel in your studies, work and make your parents proud of you. But most importantly, to trust God in everything, because..He loves you. for who you are. not your achievements, not how much wrong you have done...not how much money you earn..

With that security and faith that God is my rock, I am transformed. I no longer feel inadequate anymore (although, still...I don't really have much talents.><) and best thing is, I don't feel unloved and unwanted anymore. I believe fully now, that someone will always love me..

During my time in SIM, I struggled with paying my school fees. Despite scoring above average grades in my first year, I faced many rejections as I tried to ask for financial help all around. I think I asked almost 8 organisations for help, but no one believed in me. I finally realised, how difficult it is... to ask people who are not related to you..for $1. It was a cruel world out there. No one will help you, if you are not successful, or if you have not proved your worth. =(

With the last resort, I decided to ask the church for help. just abit of help. to make me believe that the world is not so cruel after all. My cell grp leader, Tony, upon hearing my story, immediately helped me to take the financial aid forms, and followed up on how I was doing after that.

Soon after, I went for some interview, and the church decided to give me about $1000+, in instalment, with no strings attached. I was delighted!! Finally, there was someone who was willing to help me...

Although you can argue that the church is so rich and $1000 is so little. But, when I was so desperate, the only one that rendered help to me..was CHC!not any other organisations that said they will help the needy. This is something I will always remember.. Although it is not a lot, at least it meant a few months worth of food on the table.

Throughout my stay in CHC, nobody forced me to donate any money. I didn't receive GIRO forms, even though I am working now..I gave whenever I have, and when I didn't, I did not get reprimanded. As far as I know, unless I am some exclusive member, nobody seem to keep track on how much I give! Ok, who knows, maybe I AM special and all my church friends got tracked by their giving. Hmmm. That I don't know.

CHC is my family. It is the cause of the positive change from within, of any of my success, now and in future. Of course, the most important person to thank is God Himself!!:) I attributed all the credits to Him, but it was in this church that I met Him, saw Him working in the people, felt the love, and brought me through my difficult times.

What about the pastors? Well, nobody is perfect.. all human make mistakes, if we don't..we are not human. I am not sure how the verdict is going to be, but because Pst Kong/Pst Tan has led by example over the years, and I have learnt sooooo much practical and useful knowledge from them, I am willing to forgive and accept, even if they do make mistakes.

But for now, since the verdict is not out yet, let the law and God judge them and don't play God.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Updates on life..6months of working and counting!

August 25, 2013 0 Comments
Ok I am back to blogging!

the reason why I can happily blog in my pink room now..is because I got a new laptop! it started on Friday when I saw this hot pink Acer laptop in Challenger, and went home announcing that I am going to buy it. Unfortunately or fortunately, my mum saw this cheaper laptop on promotion the next day, and decided to get it without any hesitation.

As I have a soft spot for new gadgets my mum buys (which happens rarely because we don't usually buy gadgets)..I can't bring myself to say no to this orange laptop. And within 1 second, I have decided, ok this is mineeee!!! =D

And so what's the first thing I did to the laptop? change everything to pink! SOOO here's my laptop wallpaper, and the locked screen!



wallpaper! secret romantic desires.



locked screen wallpaper.

WHEEEEE. great..I finally have a laptop after a two years break..

ok enough about my excessive rant on a small little laptop. How have working been?

Well, life have been great after two more younger friends joined the school. with occasional dinner/movies/pubbing sessions..and lesser scolding..(pls Lord, let it remain that way!><)I don't really have much to complain. just hope one day my efforts will be recognised and I will be more than grateful. As the saying goes, do your best and God will do the rest! Totally believing in that!!

What I am looking forward to the most, is end of year bonus. WOWWW heard that it's going to be quite a lot!! can't wait..i LOVE bonus. haha I know I know, who don't?:D Did I mention 12th Sept 2013 will be the day I finish paying my uni fees? YESSSS I will finally achieve temporary financial freedom! omy i have been paying for my uni fees since 18years old, ARGHHHHHHH 6 years..it seems like I can never ever finish paying it, and now...i am almost there!:D

Ok how about love life? LOL..i have been single for one year alr!! YAY! being single has been quite fun so far, just starting to miss the hugs and holding hands, and all the sweet romantic feelings that comes with it. Haha, anyway good news! I am starting to believe a little more in rships..looking at all the couples around me..i feel that, well it might be worth it to take another risk! But, I am still praying about it, and so far, I feel Him telling me not to rush. I shall be obedient this time! Although I must admit, I yearn alot for it too! sigh. haha.

Hmmm..what else? oyes! goals! if you scroll down to the bottom, one of my goals was to lose weight.

The story started when I gained 10kg in 2012..and there went the skinny meifung..to a plump one. slightly plump..><.. lol ok I am bluffing myself. It was devastating because never in my life have I got to care about my weight. I was the girl that never gets fat, high metabolism, level 100 in eating..the one who can show off and eat as much as she wants at any outing, the one that is the envy for most girls.(ok exaggerating but you got my point)..

But all of a sudden, ppl were commenting that I grew 1.5 times bigger! and they stopped using the word skinny on me. my world crashed..and I set my heart, to eat only vegetables and fruits..for the rest of my life..



just kidding!:)

I decided to lose weight, and let me share with you the secret to losing weight. DRINK LESS SUGARED DRINKS!

within a few months of drinking only plain water from Monday to Friday, I shed quite a bit of weight! in case you are wondering, I do eat! just much lesser rice, and yes, now I do watch what I eat. No longer the food monster like before.

So I am glad to announce, I lost 7kg of weight!!! *waves and bows*

BUT...I am still not satisfied!! I aim to lose 3kg by end of the year, so I can go back to my pre-disaster period, and once again, wear all the clothes my sister and I used to share, that I sadly, couldn't fit in anymore..

This shall be my goal for now! and I shall do so by going to the school gym twice a week, with the help and motivation of a very impt person..Cheryl!! HAHHAA. now you got to help me girl. :P

lets look forward to looking like this again!



:))

Friday, June 14, 2013

3.5 months working and counting....

June 14, 2013 0 Comments
ok so I haven't been blogging for super long, shall come to revive this dead blog.

hmm so much has happened within these few months of work...from happy to disappointed to happy again. for now.

What gives me the most headache is the politics there.. haha can't believe even in a school there can be so much going on.

However, as I am a positive person with God, I shall say that things has gotten much better because I am sitting in a new place now. Also, there is an addition of a new staff. =)

Thank God so much for everything!!!

I soooo thought I was going to die this week. Really thought the worst was going to happen because I argue and fight back with my manager last wed. But...unpredictable things always happen. Just when i thought it was a dead end.. New hope flooded in!..and...I am still alive!!

HAHA wheeeee. happy happy happy.

chatted 2 hours with my new colleague after work today and had so much fun. Felt thankful for my good relationships with colleagues. (except...ok nvm)

Hope things will continue to be good and praying that I won't make any mistakes at work. Really need divine help!!

It has always been my dream to work in a government organisation...and with the senior management taking care of our welfare (don't encourage us to work OT and promote work-life balance)..life will be really good if everyone is nice. I really want to stay 20 years in the same place ...I think I have the mentality of an auntie. because youngster don't usually like to stay in a job for long. However, I've got to see the environment too..if it is like the past few horrible weeks, then maybe I have to rethink my plans again.

Well I can't have the best of both world..soooo...shall suck things up and continue trying my best!

But for now, life's good!! Loving it. :)

hehehe shall update again soon.

Congrats to my BFF for getting into teaching! so happy for you!:)

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Looking back -- university years :)

March 16, 2013 0 Comments
ok so SIM requested from me to send a story of what difficulties i encountered in my school years, and some advices i should give to my juniors. Just thought i will share it here as well. :))

In my school years in SIM, i encountered difficulties paying the school fees. Each time the school fees was due, my family, especially my dad will be super vexed. To help solve the problem, every 3 months holidays, i will work and take on different kinds of jobs such as admin/HR/sales/ tution teacher/accounts. By doing so, i did not realise that my resume has become so impressive. I have work experiences that not many have. I am proud to earn $14000 on my own during the period in school. The rest was borrowed from my dad, the only sole breadwinner in the house, who is 63 years old. There are 4 kids in the family, all schooling. It was really a tough journey for us as the issue of money is so real. I had to stop myself from feeling envious of all my richer friends around me, who don't have to work so hard during the holidays, and don't have to work hard in school. We are in the same school, but our lives are so different.

It was a hectic time for me. Study for 9 months, work for 3 months, and the cycle continues for the 3 years. However, i made really good friends in SIM, and the journey became less painful. Lecturers were also very helpful, and i am glad and proud to say that i am from SIM today.

As my 3 siblings are elites of Singapore, one from Cornell(USA), two from NUS, I always felt inferior to them as i never make it to local university. (although i was offered nursing,teacher interview in NUS) I was upset that no organisation was willing to render financial aid to us, just because i wasn't from a local university.

I realised the sentiments in SIM is the same, many of us feel that we are inadequate, because the society only allows local uni grads, to feel that they are the normal, and we are lesser. We are judged everywhere. Every job i took on, people told me they have children, relatives who are in NUS,NTU,SMU. I felt really discriminated as we are judged at first impression, as people who cannot make it to local uni.

With my strong faith in God, i summon up all the disappointments, being looked down at, and promised to never look down on anyone if i succeed one day. It is the heart which are often overlooked. Many of us have a heart of gold, but we are not recognised. I had only average IQ. I am not a smart person at all.

I will advice all my juniors, not to feel inadequate. We are in fact, no different from the local grads, the only difference we have, is they are more hardworking than us. The most important thing, is not to look back and regret not working hard in jc, poly, but to live in the current, fight hard to achieve your dreams. Do your very best! Do everything you can, and you can definitely achieve what you set out to achieve.

I knew i wasn't smart, and it was really the 99.5% hardwork+faith which lead me to get 7-8As and get the prestigious Sliver award in SIM. There are no shortcuts in life, if you are serious about achieving your dreams.

From now on, i won't feel inferior when i say i come from SIM. Instead, i will feel proud and know deep in my heart that with the 9jobs work experiences, the success in academic, the character building that being in SIM has moulded me into, I am even better than the rest.

I am now a person with resilent and strength, knowing that nothing can ever bring me down again. Of course, i will continue to stay humble, and is planning to do some community work to help out those poorer citizens in Singapore. I have a wonderful job now, in school-working as a finance officer-the govt sector (which was my dream ever since i entered SIM), and have many months of bonus to look forward to.

It is with bittersweet memories when I look back at my university years, but i would say, all the discipline and hardwork was worth it!

Don't give up! Your dreams are possible, if you are willing to give up everything(the playing and fun!)to achieve it.

Class of 2012,

Mei Fung - Bsc Accounting and Finance- 1st class honors

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Goals~

March 12, 2013 0 Comments
ok shall talk about my goals for this year and the coming years! 1.lose more weight 2.go travelling once a year(korea maybe at end of this year!) 3.give mum and dad as much allowance as i can 4.try my best to save $20k! =D so excited abt the coming plans!:)

Monday, March 11, 2013

new job-school!

March 11, 2013 0 Comments
and so.... i got a new job!:) Have been here for 2 weeks plus now...so far...have been quite busy with the backlogs, but finally..i completed it! and everyday is a fuifilling day.:) a govt organisation..a place i wanted so badly to work in..after so many discriminations of private schools students..and finally!! I am back in place.. I used to be in awe of local sch grads..how it is so easy for them to get a place in govt organisation..and how i always get rejected or not even granted interviews from such organisations. Sad! but this prove something! all things are possible with Him, IF you believe. :))))) know that there will be more difficult tasks coming up..pray that God will watch over me in everything i do! I need to learn to be less fearful, somehow, this have been an area that i always struggle with. stupid fears. hahaha. but after knowing God, it has been much better..as i know all things are under His control so i don't actually have to worry so much.. Wonder how everything will turn out here..praying for the best! =DD

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

End of contract job, start of play!

January 16, 2013 0 Comments
Wow, in two days time, it will be end of my 6 months contract... Quite happy that i can finally go enjoy my well-deserved holidays, but at the same time, i will definetly miss the people here. Unlike other companies i work in, this is one that do not have much politics. No back stabbing, no bullying, and everyone will just help out when you have queries. I wonder if my new job (which i have forgotten about due to my overseas trips being more juicy) will be like this too. I really really really really hope it is the same!! and everyone will be nice... HAHA. anyway! i made quite a number of new friends recently!.. 1. pri sch friends and their sec sch cliques... 2. Rainbow waterfall friends... =D so happy! i really like making new friends!! though i am shy and quiet. KIDDING. whee happy!:D Meet-up with rainbow friends later, hoping all will turn out well since i organised it..let there be no awkward silences!! and the best is all attention on me cos i am AA..but i am so shy! how is it possible! loll faith!:)