Well, since this is my blog, I suppose I am free to write..what CHC has done for me, without having to worry about how it is going to offend anyone. Afterall, it's just my version of the story, and no one needs to agree with me. In fact, you can continue to think that all CHC supporters are silly, have too much money to spare, or are brainwashed. But maybe, before you judge us harshly, you could be open-minded enough, to hear another side of the story, of just 1 of the many, that has been impacted by the love of the church.
7 years ago, I came to this church with my friend..It was Easter day, and the first time I attended a church. I wasn't expecting anything to change, although deep inside, I wished everything in my life could change. Although I looked so happy all the time, being the clown..making all my friends laugh..i felt unwanted, uncherished and inadequate. I didn't know how to share my problems with others..and nobody seems to be interested in my personal life. Maybe it's because people just assumed that everything was going very well, or I was just a lucky girl who didn't have much problems.
But all was just a façade. Who doesn't have problems? Just to name a few, we had serious financial difficulties, my 3 siblings are confident, talented and smart(IQ and EQ), it really didn't make things any better that I have really, not much visible talents to being with.
And so, I surprised myself when I went forward during the altar call crying,(which is super rare as I hated being seen weak so usually it's just me and my fluffy pillows) and made the decision, to give my life to God. Anyway, I really don't have much to lose, since my self esteem was at 0% anyway. Can't get anymore worse can it?
The journey then begins. Slowly, I began to open up..my cell grp leaders and members were genuinely concerned about me and we had a lot of fun together. I met my first bestest friend, Shi Hui, someone whom I can finally, share my problems with, in church. Suddenly, it was as if I had a 2nd family. One that meant so much to me without them knowing, one that is supportive, where the older members (1-3years older) are always ready to bless us with food, knowing that we couldn't afford it. And no, they are not well to do people. In fact, those that blessed us are struggling with their own financial worries..having many siblings at home, having commitments like their own poly fees, etc.
I started to realise some similar characteristics from them. The strong faith in God that He will provide us more than enough in future, the love for people, the generous and servant heart. and that, is the DNA of the church.
Pastors preached weekly about how important it is, to be filial to our parents. How important it is, for husbands to treat the wives well, and wife, to give respect and admiration to your spouse. How important it is to excel in your studies, work and make your parents proud of you. But most importantly, to trust God in everything, because..He loves you. for who you are. not your achievements, not how much wrong you have done...not how much money you earn..
With that security and faith that God is my rock, I am transformed. I no longer feel inadequate anymore (although, still...I don't really have much talents.><) and best thing is, I don't feel unloved and unwanted anymore. I believe fully now, that someone will always love me..
During my time in SIM, I struggled with paying my school fees. Despite scoring above average grades in my first year, I faced many rejections as I tried to ask for financial help all around. I think I asked almost 8 organisations for help, but no one believed in me. I finally realised, how difficult it is... to ask people who are not related to you..for $1. It was a cruel world out there. No one will help you, if you are not successful, or if you have not proved your worth. =(
With the last resort, I decided to ask the church for help. just abit of help. to make me believe that the world is not so cruel after all. My cell grp leader, Tony, upon hearing my story, immediately helped me to take the financial aid forms, and followed up on how I was doing after that.
Soon after, I went for some interview, and the church decided to give me about $1000+, in instalment, with no strings attached. I was delighted!! Finally, there was someone who was willing to help me...
Although you can argue that the church is so rich and $1000 is so little. But, when I was so desperate, the only one that rendered help to me..was CHC!not any other organisations that said they will help the needy. This is something I will always remember.. Although it is not a lot, at least it meant a few months worth of food on the table.
Throughout my stay in CHC, nobody forced me to donate any money. I didn't receive GIRO forms, even though I am working now..I gave whenever I have, and when I didn't, I did not get reprimanded. As far as I know, unless I am some exclusive member, nobody seem to keep track on how much I give! Ok, who knows, maybe I AM special and all my church friends got tracked by their giving. Hmmm. That I don't know.
CHC is my family. It is the cause of the positive change from within, of any of my success, now and in future. Of course, the most important person to thank is God Himself!!:) I attributed all the credits to Him, but it was in this church that I met Him, saw Him working in the people, felt the love, and brought me through my difficult times.
What about the pastors? Well, nobody is perfect.. all human make mistakes, if we don't..we are not human. I am not sure how the verdict is going to be, but because Pst Kong/Pst Tan has led by example over the years, and I have learnt sooooo much practical and useful knowledge from them, I am willing to forgive and accept, even if they do make mistakes.
But for now, since the verdict is not out yet, let the law and God judge them and don't play God.
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